#10 / Let’s see what this one will be about
Planning is for cowards and pre-planning is for super-cowards. It’s just over-doing it.
Like the guy across the street and his very careful lawn. He thinks he can glare me into action regarding my brand new crop of dandelions but what he doesn’t understand is that without them, my lawn would be mostly dirt with a few sprigs of I-don’t-know-what and scattered lego bits, which Daisy used to enjoy eating. So you know how they got there.
QUANTUM SHIFT#1
I like to start at the top of just about anything, like a Sundae. I am trying to grow my blog and I have sent emails containing my link (and more!) to some people in high places. I don’t know exactly how I will benefit from growing my blog, and I obviously don’t know how to go about doing it, but I guess it’s a sort of nurturing thing. I feed it, groom it, attend to it with gusto and glee, cross my fingers, and hope like hell that it will grow up to be big and strong. So it will take care of me when I am old.
QUANTUM SHIFT#2
When my kids were little, I was telling them about my desire to get a pet bird when I am old. It’s something I’ve always planned on. I could see my youngest daughter’s wheels turning, and then her mouth opened, she turned to me and said, “so get one” as in “you are old”
QUANTUM SHIFT#3
I am a tall person, and a stranger, until now, to the world of onesies, and also to the word itself. Let’s just call it a jumpsuit, which is wildly accurate, because it looks like I just might. In case you see me and want to know if it really is me, since I look nothing like myself, this jumpsuit is khaki, very not stretchy, and sleeveless with a zipper that goes down to my bellybutton and then stops dead. My jumpsuit does not look too small at least from the front.
It is, however, a struggle to get on and worse to get off especially when your legs are crossed because you have to pee which is something you should do at the very first sign. I didn’t know I could chicken wing so well.
QUANTUM SHIFT#4
Do you know Marc Maron? Neither do I, but I think he might be my long lost little brother. He is a Comedian. He is a podcast host. His podcast is WTF and you should listen. Yup. You guessed it. Although I didn’t even mention the possibility of our being related, I did write to him and this is how it went:
Hi Marc
I’m always on the lookout for a new hero, and today, thanks to your podcast, I have multiples, starting with T Bone Burnett. Your conversation with him is beautiful, man. You bring a bunch of twinkling things out into the light – songwriters and painters, Ginsberg, Sam Shepard, cowboys, the rare beauty of total autonomy – and wild truths about so much more. This deep-souled woman was listening hard. It was amazing.
Sherry from Toronto
feelingfunny.ca
See what I did there?
I feel funny about referring to myself as a deep-souled woman, goes against my humble nature, but it’s relevant to the conversation, which I urge you to listen to, and I bet you’ll be able to live off it for a couple of days like I did. Seriously. Go.
QUANTUM SHIFT#5
I don’t know about you, but the entire mood around “counter-intuitive” confuses me. It leaves me restless and on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop when you already know it’s not going to match. Won’t “mildly to severely surprising” suffice? No it won’t, and do you want to know why? It’s because when something is counter-intuitive, you are not going to be able to figure it out. Period. If it’s counter-intuitive, it’s poorly designed and that’s pretty much all there is to it. If people are counter-intuitive, run, because you just know there’s a mile long rant coming your way that you won’t easily recover from. If the website building platform you are working with won’t let you do hardly anything cool – or at least you can’t figure out how to gif on it and all your drawings are static when they’d make funnier gifs – maybe it’s time to switch. Ugh. Because I can’t really stomach calling and asking them how to do it because they lose me pretty much after hello, and I go into full-on pretending-I-get-it mode. But it’s a long weekend and there’s lots of time in between the going-out-and-enjoying-it stuff and I will keep trying in my own frustrating little way and maybe you’ll eventually see the drawing below in an even more awkward way.
QUANTUM SHIFT #6
Other weird things Daisy has eaten, as discovered in her poo. Mostly.
A $20 bill which was unscathed and quickly spent
Socks (she poops the colourful summer nylon ones perfectly intact, but the winter ones are an ordeal for everyone)
Very freshly discarded kleenex
Unused kleenex because she is hopeful
Once she actually ate our friend’s false front tooth, which is a long story that you don’t even want to hear, although it has a happy ending
Steel wool
Chocolate cake with chocolate icing, and contrary to lore, she survived to tell the story. The resulting poo is unremarkable. Mostly
Bird seed which, fyi, looks exactly like grainy dijon mustard
Plastic cutlery
A barbie head
QUANTUM SHIFT#7
I’m going outside now. Wish you could join me.
Also wish you would press the “f” icon below because then this blog would be shared on your Facebook page just like that, and all your friends would know how well you waste your time.
Thanks for reading.
