this is not my beautiful house

Brave New Words

Brave New Words

Much ado is made about the introduction of new words into the dictionary.

Many of them are old words with new meanings, such as “ghost” which we used to call “ignore” and is the same, only more dramatic. Sometimes they’re new words with old meanings, like “microdosing”. Back in high school, when minimum wage was a measly fifty cents an hour, we used to call the small portions we could afford “hits”.

Here, my proposed new words and their meanings, not listed in order of declining maturing until the very last one.

  1. Singleing: Making decisions as if you are the only one that matters (and you are!)

  2. Vidiot: Unenlightened Youtuber

  3. Boredrobe: The reason you go to Winners!

  4. Superfasting: Ill-advised but effective in a short-term, sometimes permanent way

  5. Glapsing: Gaps in logic, also sometimes permanent

  6. Popcorning: Your new dietary regime after blowing your imaginary budget

  7. PondPrince, or PP: When he’s a frog after all

  8. Snapping: When you fall asleep on the subway

  9. Debitbetting: When you take a chance on those shoes, regardless of your current balance

  10. Dart: Inspired flatulence

#4 / Crowds are for the birds

#4 / Crowds are for the birds

Some lists are doomed from the get-go

Some lists are doomed from the get-go