5 Reasons I Hate Lists
And that might be my finest headline ever
More of a wing-it girl myself. I don’t like planning of any sort. I don’t even like the word sort for obvious reasons if you’ve seen my kitchen or any closets or drawers or most surfaces around here or me.
But sometimes lists have a way of pooping up and just the other day I ended up on a list of hacks which were all stupid but the cake was taken by the suggestion that you sort your cutlery when it goes INTO the dishwasher.
Which gave me pause to say the least because what it really did was make me lie down or lay down if it makes you feel better which it did
But I quickly recovered because a long time ago the question Doesn’t everybody? became rhetorical in the no department. For instance just the other day I swept (which is a shock in itself I know) sand mostly, under the front door carpet and I no longer think this is a wide-spread practice because once somebody saw me and went on and on about it, eye-roll here, so now when I do it I make sure no one is watching.
Daisy doesn’t count. I mean you should see what she leaves on the floor.
It’s frightening
Especially first thing in the morning when I think it’s a family of sleeping rodents.
All blustery and grey out there today with a side of panic so we’re going for a walk now in the pre-blizzard forest see what kind of shit we can get up to.
Okay we’re back and if you’re a grammarian or somebody who loads their dishwasher in order you might want to duck off because I can’t even find my glasses so the chances for errors just grew exponentially although I think I got that one right
Also on my side is my typing speed which is record-breakingly astounding and the reason they invented the silent keyboard and also the reason Spellcheck is a heavy drinker.
It was all Aunty Em out there in the forest
Pre-storm and windy and moody and Daisy just sort of catapulted right out of character and I guess she’s been following my on-line yoga classes after all because she did in thirty seconds what it’s taken me like three months to learn badly and her succession was rapid to the point of that joke where you say wanna see how fast I can whatever and your victim says sure and you split a second and say wanna see it again?
Didn’t go the full trail today although the lake was especially blue in a wildly gorgeous way
But I remembered I didn’t lock the front door and sometimes the wind is enough to slam it open which has happened before on two notable occasions the first of which was when our across-the-street-neighbour, the guy with a thing for Christmas lights, had to go chasing Daisy because our door blew open and she figured why not and took herself out for a romp.
Don’t know how he got her back in the house but he did and then he locked the door from the inside and exited through the back all of which I found out weeks later and that’s when I became a door locking person, mostly anyway.
The second time was when my brother was over one windy day working on my computer and this was when Lily-the-cat was newish and when he finished what he was doing he saw that the front door was wide open. Daisy is unusually devoted to my brother and remained at his side but Lily was nowhere. He searched high and low inside and out and then he called me at work and I was out the door in a flash, just like Lily I thought, but before I got home he called and said she’d been inside all along and had just sauntered by looking around at all the fuss.
Still when he comes over he gives the cat side-eye and it’s the only time I ever hear Lily really laugh
Also I have rainbows now. Goes away when I blink hard but then comes back so I am going to go find my glasses although I gotta tell you rainbows change everything tra-la.
Hope you enjoyed reading this and if you did, maybe share with your fiends on facebook or wherever because nice as our exclusive relationship is, I am after fame and fortune and real rainbows just like Dorothy.
