All my life I’ve been in situations where I just stand there, shrug, and go “I don’t fucking know”
So here is the outline for my next book: The Awkward Cat’s Guide To Shit You Don’t Have A Clue About But Should
Chapter 1
What to expect at a funeral
Chapter 2
How to do things in moderation, a journey
Chapter 3
Effective cancelling
Chapter 4
Good books and movies that make you think
Chapter 5
How to be pushy (and how to know when)
Chapter 6
How to speculate
Chapter 7
How to make stuff up, the fine art of
Chapter 8
How to stand and where to position yourself for a good photograph
Chapter 9
How to write a shopping list
Chapter 10
How to pho like a pro
Chapter 11
Short cuts, the clever ones
Chapter 12
How to tolerance, baby
Chapter 13
Chocolate Cake and White Bread to bake for your friends
Chapter 14
How to not die when your pet does
Chapter 15
How to remember stuff
Chapter 16
How to forget stuff
Chapter 17
How to velvet hammer
Chapter 18
How to reconnect with an old friend you think of a lot
Chapter 19
How to courage, the basics
Chapter 20
What to eat mostly
Chapter 21
How to mother and/or father of dragon(s)
Chapter 22
How to mind your posture and posture your mind
Chapter 23
How to stand in someone else’s shoes
Chapter 24
How to give unsolicited advice
Chapter 25
How to propagate cactiiiiiiii and find the right pillow, an unlikely duo
Chapter 26
How to get back to sleep at 3 am
Chapter 27
How to try yoga and why
Chapter 28
How to not think about meditation
Chapter 29
How to roam (when in or out)
Chapter 30
How to be an early bird
Chapter 31
How to gloat nicely
Chapter 32
How to ignore
Chapter 33
How to not snore
Chapter 34
How to knit a scarf and brows simul.
Chapter 35
How to abbv. words you can’t spell
Chapter 36
How to outsmell spellcheck
Chapter 37
How to use ten minutes on the train coming home from your first day back at work
