Ever wonder what stepping on a soft-bodied, eight-limbed mollusc feels like?
Sticky
So like usually I shower later in the day. Sometimes I skip it all together and sometimes I skip it for days on end whatever that means. But I never get up and go straight to the shower. Until this morning that is.
Yesterday was a busy day
Between crosswords and fall campaign work and humping the hill and editing a couple of chapters of an old manuscript and starting something new and chatting with Daisy over hill and dale and watching all that basil go to flower because I am dick to death of pesto (thanks spellcheck), I went for a swim in the lake and then tennis, an evening bike ride and all that other shit I am currently cramming because, you know, September.
When I got home I was so tired a strawberry milkshake was all I could muster and then I went to bed still with weird patches of sand sort of glued to me and I read almost a word before I fell asleep
So when I woke up this morning, I felt sticky from the milkshake and icky from the lake or maybe the other way around and sweat and wacky hair so I went in the shower before I even made coffee and I can’t remember ever doing that before except maybe once or twice when we were six which is the title of a Winnie The Poo book I think and I let spellcheck take the h off that because we are, as I said, six. Okay breathe. So I stepped into the shower and just stood there for a long time, you know, making faces into the stream. As you do.
It wasn’t until I budged that I got octopused
But I not-soon-enough realized that the bath mat was upside down and all those fucky sucky things weren’t sea creatures after all.
Try it some time!
It takes an enormous amount of coordination and concentration to get out of the tub safely and I had none of that shit. All I can say is good thing I am doing yoga because I had to practically do the stand up splits (warrior eleventeen I think) roughly a hundred times before I worked my way, suction cup by suction cup, to the edge of the mat.
