Hello equal and opposite

Procrastination, like consequence, seems like a bad word. But the upside of procrastination is self-care and the upside of consequence is results. So there. And there

I wrote Tim another siloloquvy, something spellcheck has never heard of but thinks might be Swedish I suppose, and this one turned into a study of reactions which is where the consequence vs results thing came from. The procrastination-self-care thing hit me this morning because I have a meeting today and it might come out that I’ve been procrastinating when in fact all I’ve been doing is practicing self-care. But of course Monster Mash isn’t going to see it that way.

But it will all work out

Like in a week or maybe even tonight or tomorrow it’ll be over and I’ll be over it which is what I tell myself whenever anything difficult pops up, you know, that it will all work out. I think we all pretty much say that to ourselves every morning when we say “see you later” to our loved ones. We say it in good faith which we direct at the universe at large because if we considered what could happen we’d never let go of each other. Like how otters sleep holding hands so they won’t fall apart.

Maybe I’ll even consider the consequences of the meeting results but only if I win although of course I know it’s not a contest – mostly anyway

I’m so busy I’m not going to the gym which means I am what I make fun of. Yeah so like what the fuck ever.

I shower way less because I don’t actually have to and also because I hate showering, at least until I get in there and then I hate getting out, but this morning I figured I’d better shower because of the competition or meeting I mean.

And because I’ve been watching what I eat my jumpsuit actually fits or at least almost fits which is good enough considering it’s not even my size because they were out of my size and I’m not one to let little details like breathing get in my way.

I eat too much when I’m being yanked in so many directions probably so I won’t fall apart. And even though the foods I eat too much of are good for you, as in sauceless curry chicken and nuts, it’s a quantity issue. I’ve always got my pockets full of nuts and my pockets are deep but not in the full of money way. No. My pockets are full of macadamia nuts mostly which I used to think just got in the way of other nuts but now I know the truth.

Anyway. Two things happened in the shower. My daughter has soap from one of those fancy places and it’s liquid and called cookie dough or something although I might change the name to icing because man if you see me licking my shoulders I am not.

Also in the shower I was out of my conditioner so I reached for one of those tubes you use after you dye your hair which my daughter just did and that shit is nice and really makes your hair smoooth but there were two tubes and I just grabbed one and I guess it was my son’s girlfriend’s – she has this amazing white hair – and although the blob I pooped into my palm was mauve I slathered that shit on. It’s so her hair stays away from yellow, you know, but it’s also effective on my sparkly silver strands which are now sparkly purple strands and they’re amazing.

I will be sure to sit directly under the lights at our meeting which in my imagination I totally win

Anyway. I’ve been single-fingering this entire thing on my phone and it’s my stop. I’ll draw something quick and post soon as I get there. Then I will feel all smug and accomplished for the contest.

See you later