I can fart in Kashyyykian. That’s right. I’m fluent
So it’s Fruit Friday which is a thing not only because of the alliteration, which I like, but also because the next day my farts sound like Chewbacca and it’s nice to be at home so I can, you know, LOL
I can also fart in questions just so you know. It’s an inflection thing. Clarification available upon request.
And I bet you have questions of your own right now like don’t you have better things to do with your time than read a stupid blog about farts and I’ll tell you, you probably do, and I have better things to do than write a blog about farts especially since I’m at work right now, but what the heck dude, it’s Friday, so let’s just get on with it.
I was actually kicked out of my grade five classroom because I laughed so hard at a fart joke that the teacher had to remove me. I was completely doubled over. Couldn’t breathe. So Mr. Smith just sort of guided my laughing ass out of the room but I still couldn’t stop so he set up a desk in the hallway outside the classroom door and it was awesome. All my friends suddenly needed to use the washroom and I had a constant stream of visitors and no matter how bad I was for the rest of the year Mr. Smith never used that form of punishment again.
I must have told that joke a million times that day and I don’t know if I ever gave Scott MacDonald credit, but he was the one who told it to me in the first place so there you go Scott, wherever you are.
You have to be old enough to remember highway rest-stops where you had to pay to use the toilets to get this joke, and those of you who are old enough have probably heard it before because even though we didn’t have the internet back then we had a fully functioning grapevine.
Here I sit, broken-hearted
Paid a dime and only farted
I know, right? Still fucking kills me.
And here’s one you haven’t heard before because I just made it up. Sorry in advance for being twelve.
