Meditation is like blue cheese dip
Just fine thank you until you hit a lump
Yesterday I went for a walk down at the boardwalk to visit the tree I have a crush on and it’s a long walk and it was a beautiful day, the clouds were showing off, the sun was coy but its light was lovely and the lake was just so gorgeous I kept forgetting to look where I was going.
Swimming’s officially over at least in the lake where the temp fell 10 degrees in one day which my sister said was due to lake inversion and I pretended to understand. I think there’s only one more weekend left for swimming in the river which is sprinkled in colourful leaves now and the wake you leave is like the clean swipe on the mirror after your shower and the hard blue with white billows are perfectly reflected in the arrow you leave behind.
Take a minute, I know that was a doozie
I’ve told you I got a Fitbit because it’s fun to see how many steps I get, and also encouraging, but I never look at my count until the walk is over. I have a vague goal of 20,000 steps a day and I like to get half of that early in the morning and yesterday when I got out of the car I thought – and this thought was only one of a million little coffee-induced swirls including that I’d buy apples and what the fuck’s with all the wasps and were the washrooms still open and did I forget to brush my hair again and yes I did – but I thought wouldn’t it be cool if my count was exactly 10,000 steps when I returned to the car. And that was that – I stopped thinking – which is easy to do until you try.
BTW my brother, who has a nicely askew way of looking at things, says Fitbits keep you a bitfit and he’s perfectly correct as always
And BTW again, he once loaned me an encyclopedia on mental illness and when he handed it over, he said, with the exception of hypochondria, I think I have them all.
LOL!!
Anyway. I like to dislocate my internal compass and come across the tree almost by surprise, you know, because that way I get a nice little rush which may be mutual you never know.
Sometimes I take short cuts and other times I take the long way and other times I do the crow.
And when I get to the tree I lean into the boughs for a while and it’s amazing. I look at the water while the tree looms over me sort of like bangs and I think happy thoughts or sometimes the sad ones that make you happy in a deeper way than the happy ones can.
I’ve never been a church-goer, don’t even know if it needs a cap C, but when I walk away from the tree it might be how some people feel after leaving church.
The same but different
So I sort of floated back to my car, a little lighter than before, mostly along the boardwalk but a couple of grassy hills were involved, and soon as I opened the car door I got the wrist buzz you get with 10,000 steps and you know what I did when I got home? I meditated for the first time ever.
I don’t really know how or if there even is a how but I just do the same sort of dislocate thing like getting to the tree and sit like they do in the pictures
For those of you looking for the blue cheese analogy, which didn’t go nearly as well as planned, every so often I get a lump which causes a sort of reflex and I want to get up and finish a paragraph or open a window or have some toast or water the plants. But I don’t. I stay put.
What I think I am doing is celebrating intuition and trusting trust and I’m gonna keep at it because it’s nice
I wasn’t going to tell you this part. I typed it in and took it out and typed it in different and took it out just the same and now I’m typing it in a little harder. So. I started a story on Saturday morning. Wrote for maybe an hour and then on Sunday and Monday about the same. I really like this story. It’s about six people in a room and finding out why and one of the people in the room and his sister used to watch soap operas all day long all summer long when they were kids and so nothing is too far-fetched for him including the why he’s in the room. Anyway. I always just sort of plunk the bones all down in textedit which is a little word processing program on the Mac and I do this so as to not take myself too seriously. I usually get in two to three thousand words although this time I said to myself I’d like it to be more like two thousand. It’s messy and abrupt and half point-form and out of order and names sometimes change and even genres but when it’s got the right guts, I know it, and that’s when I copy it into InDesign and get serious.
Part of getting serious is picking the font – which is sort of like choosing what to wear and can have an effect on the overall feeling of the piece just like how you feel when you have the right or wrong shirt on – and then there’s the margins which also have a say, deciding whether to indent or use a line space between paragraphs, how much leading, sometimes choosing not-black.
All of these things are unique to each story until it goes out and I have to dress it appropriately in 12-pt. times roman etc.
First time I’ve thought about it but again, it’s kind of the same as approaching the tree differently every time, isn’t it? Anyway. Then I always check the word count see where I’m at. This time, it was exactly 2,000.
So with my newfound powers, I’m either going to take over the world or get a yes about my screenplay
ONE LAST THING I have two words that I never in a million years thought would come anywhere close to my blog but here they are: Kim Cardashian which I spelled wrong in order to maintain my integrity.
