Misfortune cookies
This list started out as unfortunate messages you might find in fortune cookies, you know, instead of the usual sugary prophesies. But then my son saw it and said the entire thing was leaning towards being mean and untrue and was likely to topple me into an unsavoury category, so I changed it up. Here instead, a list of mostly fair, impartial, unbiased and unprejudiced ways to change the meaning of to-do list items using single-word-substitutions. Which I hope turns out better than it sounds.
Get a job.
Get a dog!Make amends.
Make acake!No wine today.
No whine today!Tidy room.
Watch “Room”!Go to yoga.
Go to hell!Read!
Nap!Return red shoes.
Go to hell!Organize kitchen.
Go to hell!Visit Uncle George.
Text Uncle George!Be mindful.
Be full!Also, that wasn’t chicken
