Not to be dramatic, but...
I feel a stress-induced zit coming on and it’s all because of excessive worry re my cookie glitch
These cookies involve many complexions of chocolate, nuts galore, and five dollars each to you mortals, but since Charlie works in a coffee shop that is a front for a bakery, I get broken ones for free and just between you and me he maybe breaks them but this is a trade secret as in quid pro quo so like what’s yours?
And just to be clear I don’t worry about my glitches until roughly three in the morning when they all come and line up like it’s some kind of pageant
I’ve heard some people count sheep (which sounds like it makes noise lol), and I don’t see what’s fair about that, do you, when I’m spending my angst counting things like unfinished stories, dangerous characters, a very distant-from-my-wheelhouse-campaign for an investment firm I have to Zoom-present on Monday, two library books that need to be returned (unread), rotting bananas that need to assume the form of either banana bread or compost toute fucking suite, a wordsearch puzzle for ZoomerRadio due in about an hour, and I’m stopping while I can still breathe but there’s more.
It’s Friday and it’s gorgeous out there if you don’t mind the temperature which I don’t because I haven’t been even remotely cold in like ten years as I may have said a million times before. The footing’s a problem also today. Took the garbage out already because those guys think it’s fun to come at seven in the morning one week and noon the next and missing the truck is a catastrophe and I used the bin as a sort of walker because there’s an inch deep layer of slush out there, leaning toward the frozen side, and items in the mirror are closer than they appear which was almost the headline for this blog post.
I mentioned the library books that I am taking back unread. This is because I took the advice of Camilla, who started a book club or something, I can’t remember exactly, but I came across a list of her recos and ordered three of them from the library, two of which I am returning unread and the third, I’ve cancelled. They were that bad.
And I like Camilla, mostly because of the way she had to stifle her laughter that time she was caught on camera dying at the throat singers. Remember? God. She won me over. I didn’t even think it was funny until she did and then I was right there with her except it was okay for me to howl except my kids were disappointed because they are on the side of all minorities except spiders. Again, stopping myself and if I have a lisp in the audio of this one it’s because my tongue hurts from biting it
Please note the self-dicipline
Maybe I use it all up on not saying stuff I’m thinking which might come as a surprise to you but believe me I can do much better or worse depending on your side of the fence.
This restraint is probably why I am so sloppy regarding cookie set al and I don’t know where the fuck Spellcheck is, do you, although I think I heard something about a strike, because he gets the full tirade and is in shock a great deal of the time, and might be doing some sort of silent protest due to the fact I am a shit head.
Oh. There he is.
Anyway Daisy looks game today so we’re gonna go over to the forest before they salt the streets and see what happens.
