Patience Zero

HolyFuckingShit

So there’s a temp guy at work – this is his last day – and everything he does annoys me. Poor fucker can’t even blink right. He’s got this laugh that is loud and insistent and woodpeckery, fuck off spellcheck, and there’s absolutely no joy in it. He is a fidgeter. He makes ugly snot-related noises which give me hearty palpitations and I’m going to let that one go, spellcheck, because you’re not wrong. I hated his long hair, which he recently got cut, and now I hate his short hair. Every fucking one of them.

And the strangest thing about it is that I am the only one he seems to annoy.

Which leads me to the conclusion than I am Patience Zero

It’s been creeping up on me for a while now. Kind of like the cataracts did

Right now he is eating and although I am wearing my favourite boots today, I might just hurl one or both. Or I might just hurl.

Daisy eats with more manners and in spite of her rather inelegant unopposable thumbs, and penchant for poop, she makes less of a show of it and I swear, if he goes ummmmmm one more time I will simply ask for a new pair of Fryes for Mother’s Day because mine will be down his throat.

How is everybody else keeping their shit together?

Unless they’re thinking about that other little problem that seems to be plaguing mankind. Which of course is Asshat’s favourite subject.

Me? I’m much more concerned about whether or not they’ll let me have my laptop in jail so I can write my blog because we gotta keep laughing motherfuckers

Have a nice weekend everybody. Rest up. Because more shit’s gonna go down next week.