Please pass your eyebrow pencil

I am getting that no winter maintenance sign printed on my t-shirt because that’s the way I am going this winter and beyond. All because of what happened at the saloon – good one autocorrect – the other day. So I went to get my eyebrows back which involves waxing and colouring and maybe it looks like I am a Bette Davis fan and I do like her I guess, but they are dying to give me her skinny eyebrows, and I’ve heard that at some point around when you’re starting to look your age – which for me is precisely this minute – they won’t grow back. So I always say to the girl THICK THICK THICK and I make great big thick-looking gestures so she’ll understand and it seemed like she got it this time because she repeated back to me with her accent DICK DICK DICK and I was pleased and relieved she understood. So that’s why my eyebrows look like penises.