I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one
That’s just a joke motherfuckers and it’s mine, unlike these smart and surprising little numbers that will help restore your faith in humanity:
One:
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
“Make me one with everything.”
Two:
One day Jean-Paul Sartre was at a cafe when a barista came up and asked him if he wanted anything.
Sartre said to her, “Yes, I’d like a coffee, please — with no milk.”
The barista responded, “I’m sorry monsieur, we’re out of milk. Would you like it with no cream instead?”
Three:
Two chemists walked into a bar.
The first one said, “I think I’ll have an H2O.”
The second one said, “I think I’ll have an H2O too”.
The second chemist died.
Four:
What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of her time doing?
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Five:
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
Six:
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
And now here are three things that make me think I have too much time on my hands:
One:
I am tolerant. Fuck you. I am so. But it’s just that with all this time to ponder, I am unable to ignore the things some people say which of course are the things they think about and believe in. And because real conversation is such a planned and precious thing these strange days, I think we’re all listening a little more closely. It’s not like before when somebody might say something a little off and you could just up and leave. You know. In a bar or after dinner or whatever if something was creepy or weird or distasteful I’d just leave. Exit stage left. Well now there is no stage left so you gotta sit through it and sometimes this is very, very good and you are delighted with the way people think so fresh and wonderful but sometimes it works the other way which is why I needed the jokes so much today. It’s not every day you discover that somebody you thought was just kinda nutty isn’t.
Two:
This is an example of the way my sick love affair with math fucks with my head: Six degrees of separation is safe social distancing if there are x evenly-spaced people in a circle of 2x circumference where x ≤ 60.
Three:
It is taking me longer than ever to finish Episode 13 of Clutterbucks and it’s because something happens when you tie up storylines. They fray if you’re lucky and I am lucky with this story. So I am busy coveting story and character arcs for Season Two while the going’s good and then I get carried away because, you know, I can. So for those of you waiting for Episode 13, it will be up within the week. And it’s worth waiting for which just goes to show you that my opening statement about an inferiority complex is total bullshit of the au contraire variety.
And now one more thing:
Please click and listen to The Statler Brothers: Flowers on the Wall which is full of great harmonies and oddly appropriate lyrics – you’ll see exactly what I mean – including this little beauty:
