Amazon is a Rabid Hole
I went in for long underwear and ended up buying Dead Sea salt straight from Israel, dance lessons, and I think I maybe just bought John Cougar Mellencamp
The Yellow Pages motto used to be let your fingers do the walking. Not sure what Amazon’s is but if you know anybody there and they’re looking, maybe you could suggest one of these, for a fee of course, shipping extra:
AMAZON…It’s a fucking jungle in here
Good thing I’m not a copywriter for a living, gak, because my personal tag line would probably be like it or lump it because I don’t always give options although everybody expects three but I’m too busy for that shit. It’s a farce anyway. There’s always a right one and then two wrong ones that make the right one look righter and together they make you look like you’re worth your salt which I don’t think will make it from Israel in time, do you?
I like to think I know what’s right although sometimes I get a little thwank in my gut that says maybe not but I almost always keep on going, full steam ahead.
I have excellent tunnel vision
And anyway, my quality control girl is almost always in full agreement with me especially when I have treats in my pocket or agree to help her thwart the cat, and I don’t know what’s up with the thw words but clearly Spellcheck’s on another bender.
Today was a two-coffee morning. I got up earlier than usual because there was a sentence in my gut that wanted out
And if I make it to my laptop or a piece of paper in time it’s always a good one, because my brain doesn’t get a chance to fuck with it too much.
Anyway. Had to pee on the walk because of the two coffees but there were too many people so I guess I took it out on my face because I felt all wizened if you know what I mean which certainly is not a derivative of wise. No.
It’s a derivative of What are you? Four?
And of course today everybody on the trail’s all talky and right now I bet they’re all talky about my wizenedness or maybe just my weirdness in general and maybe right now one of them is telling the story about what happened the other afternoon when I was walking over there at sunset.
It was one of those warmish days, sunshine all over the place, and it was beautiful and the light was leaning as it does in the fall, you know, all golden and soft and long beautiful shadows and I’m always looking for my shadow because sometimes I need evidence that I’m really here and you’re not gonna believe where it was.
So I think I’ve said this before but the forest I walk in is sort of divided by a road that goes down to the beach. You can’t see the road from the trail but there’s a huge gap where there are no trees until there are.
Unfortunately I can’t explain distance very well.
I was a kid and just getting the hang of imperial when they changed it to metric and it threw me but I can’t say how far
So let’s just say it’s way over there. Like if you were standing in the other forest, you probably wouldn’t be able to hear me if I hollered hello or anything else.
Anyway. The sun was right beside me, having one long last glance before bed, and I looked over at the other forest and there I was, shadow-me, looming. It was awesome and I got very excited, you know, waved over at myself and watched myself take a couple of big clown steps, Daisy twirling in my wake.
And when these sort of amazing things happen I think it’s only fair to share – I mean I’d certainly want you to share it with me – so that’s what I tried to do. I said Look! to people walking by but none of them got it, you know, before it was too late and all at once an uncertain dusk spread around and people just sort of backed away while Daisy and me kept jumping, you know, trying for one more glimpse.
