All in Feeling Funny
My Scripted Life
YOU: Want to go get a coffee?
ME: I think you spelled Tequila wrong
There’s no place like home-row
It’s like flying. Equal parts joy and terror.
A: Tequila!
Q: What did you get for your second shot?
Me at the garden centre: I’ll take one of everything!!!
(Exactly what I used to say every time I walked into a bar)
Pathetiquette
How to Artfully Dodge and not be a deke
The plight of the red-winged blackbird
Those red and yellow stripes aren’t peathers they’re pucking war medals
Never thought I’d be a step junkie yet here we are...
No! Actually, here we are. No! Over HERE! *waves*
And I thought I was windy
Walking into the wind today I felt all wide-eyed and chiseled but when I turned around my face got all pointy in front of me and it started whistling
I had gnats for breakfast, how ’bout you?
Little fuckers broke my fast*
Suspension of disbelief is not just for swallowing the printed word
It also comes in handy at dawn on an April snow day when I fall three times during a very short conversation and neither of us seem to notice
You know what happens when you say you don’t believe in Fairies, right?
Well guess what? I don’t believe in calories. It’s my new weight loss strategy
Played some rage-tennis last night
The wall didn’t stand a chance
Blog titles I came up with when I couldn’t come up with blog titles
I’m never sure what to think when people say the best thing about my blogs are their titles. It’s like saying the best thing about a restaurant is its menu
I overthink, therefore I overam
Or would that be underam?
“I’m not a cat” is what a cat would say
omg did you see that video? I think the judge is Mr. Rogers
Not to be dramatic, but...
I feel a stress-induced zit coming on and it’s all because of excessive worry re my cookie glitch
I have bangs now like Bette Davis as Charlotte
I did it because of winter hats. Thought a little fringe would be cute, you know, and it is pretty cute in an aged child sort of way
How to February
It’s a good time to introduce your new imaginary friends to your posse
